Friday, 27 January 2012

This is ... The Tyler More Show?

A 47 year old aircraft carrier was the venue for the San Diego round of auditions. Cue Top Gun tracks. I'm not too sure why this was chosen but, as rumour has it that the new Dear Leader of North Korea follows the programme, lots of aircraft zooming around and defence kit in evidence may have been intended to persuade him not to nuke the States just yet.

The new logo is slowly being introduced too, this week much more in evidence and the old one's transparency settings increased so that it looks like a ghost plate next to the new one.

Ryan Seacrest announces that 'the judges feel the need for speed' which meant either that thought they were in for a tough set of auditions or they thought the proximity of all that zooming stuff would boost their talent-spotting skills somehow.

In all honesty, the way this first day of Week 2 went, one only had to turn up looking cute and be female and willing to flirt with Steven Tyler and you got the yellow Hollywood ticket. There were few exceptions tonight so, just to start off safely, they started off by rejecting an extremely attractive bikini-clad girl called Jennifer. You had to smile at Steven's first question to her: "What are you wearing exactly?". It was the exactly that stayed in my mind, as no doubt it would have done Steven's had it not been for the next 30 pretty girls that came along, albeit not in bikinis.

Next came Ashley Robins. Yes. Sang I Will Always Love You and sang it well. A smart-looking girl but someone needs to advise her to avoid overdoing the rouge next time as the bright red mark on the cheek looked like a rash. Straight through and deserved that.

JayRay Gibson was a bloke, for a change. a cheerful chap. Not "mad mad good" as Randy said. OK. That's all. He and a pile more we only get glimpses of fly through to the next round. So too does Aubrey Deckmeyer who seemed to more interested in being American Top Model than Idol but at least she got the first few and last syllables right. She had a light singing tone and was, again, OK and probably wouldn't have made it on a normal day but this was no ordinary day. Planes were flying past and ships horns blowing so matbe the judges couldn't hear much anyway and that may explain it.

Alexis Shields comes in and looks like a cheerleader with a pink cardigan. She tried rapping something which was terrible. As she's very pretty she gets another chance and tries singing. "She clearly can't sing either", I think to myself. "You can sing!" announces Randy. "Amazing!" He continues. Hollywood?? Good grief, what has come over them? She was a nice girl but... And even her family seem surprised afterwards.

Kyle Crews - now there's a name - was a clean, well-scrubbed well-fed-looking student. The type that often turns out bad in movies but gets all the girls at the start. He is boring. But gets through. Good grief.

As we watch a few of the failures come and go one clip stands out. Steven announcing: "I didn't spend four hours in make-up to listen to this bullshit!" This really is turning into the Tyler More Show.

Now we get the long back story, old photos of a little girl and you kinda guess that someone good is coming up. So, ah... it's Jim Carrey's daughter, Jane Carrey. That's why we get the intro and build up. However, she's not that good after all but better than a lot that they've alreday put through so off she goes too. I expect Hollywood will be pretty familiar to her anyway and I doubt whether it'll cost the producers much at all and she'll add some interest to the next round.

More girls are shown getting through. All pretty.

Jason Hamlin appears. Seems he's also called Wolf. He kicks off with a decent version of Creedence's Midnight Special but as he's not a good-looking girl he needs to do another track. He comes out with a nice version of Fulsom Prison Blues which doesn't give him bundles of modern appeal but they are looking pretty shoprt of blokes so it's his lucky day.

Good old Wolf closed the weird military-based part of the show and we fly up to Aspen. Aspen didn't appear to have a handy aircraft carrier or girls in bikinis. They did find a pretty girl for Steven to start with though in the shape of Jenny Schick. "I'll take this one" announces Steven as the first contender bounces on excitedly. She sings Pat Benatar's Heartbreaker in an average way but she has lots of energy and did I mention that she was pretty? So, er, yes, she gets through. After kissing Steven and going off jumping up and down with even more excitement. Ryan says "Things are getting wet here in Aspen."

Curtis Gray's was a very boring audition. He could certainly sing well but whether we see much more of him after Hollywood depends on what choices he comes up with next. We seem to be rushing through the boys - I guess Steven doesn't make as good TV when they're on and we get Richie Law, a little guy with a big voice and Devan Jones, possibly one of the best so far. Both through.

Someone called Matthew gets them all joining in with Hey Jude for a minute and gets through. Finally someone doesn't get a yellow ticket. Talena Hedgespen wasn't too bothered and was awful. Haley Smith, on the other hand, nearly lost her job by telling the world what goes into the sausages she helps make in her day job up the road. However, she may not need to worry too much as she has a good, natural approach and deserved to get through to the next round. Not amazing, and her choice of track was poor but not at all bad.

Alanna Snare attempted Jolene and may as well not have bothered. Steven liked her name, though, and the fact that she served various animal's testicles in a bar but that wasn't quite enough to get her through.

Shelby Tweren is a bi-polar girl. We get told that for some reason I'm not sure of, as they'll make sure she takes her medicine in future shows. Excuse for a back story, I suppose. She's actually a good singer and interesting too - without all that. She seemed one of the few who could match the emotions to the words and performed well. We'll see more of her, I'm sure. Something tells me, though, that we're not actually seeing the real Shelby here. maybe a sanitised version for TV. As I said, could be interesting.

Jayron Jackson gives us a great original song. Nice voice and another worthy initial contender. Well, up to a point. I'm almost getting carried away too now.

Angie Zeidermann gave us a combination of rubbish and a good show tune. She's an odd girl but, again, interesting. her Blue Bayou was excellent. She's good, and different, but I don't think she's Idol TV material long-term. I think the rolling around on the floor didn't help.

Magic Cyclops was funny although Randy didn't seem to get the joke and Steven just sat there. Crazy guy had a decent voice but probably didn't do himself any favours with his act and not sure I saw any point of an exploding butt. Oddly, and rather obviously showing some production planning for something to end the show with, Randy gets up without giving any verdict and says he needs to go to the loo. They all wander off and no-one actually judges the guy at all.

That was a strange show. Unless there was someone in the fly-through bits that was stand-out, I suspect that we won't be seeing any of these people in the Live Shows. But perhaps some will amuse us in the meantime for a while.