Friday, 27 January 2012

This ... ISS rubbish. Take it away, Ryan.

Texas. Houston. Cue man in the International Space Station. I should have guessed, although the poor folk in Aspen must have wondered why they didn't get some cool link-up. "Take It Away, Ryan" says the ISS man which Ryan duly does. However, he might have been better taking the whole show away as this was, with just a couple of exceptions, a terrible bunch of audition screenings.

The start was nonsense from Phong Vu. A load of production going on for no purpose whatsoever. If viewing numbers have dropped for this Season 11 then this would explain why and many will have switched channels in the first 4 minutes.

This was followed by four more complete horrors.

Then we have the I Kill Deer girl, doing an impressive bit of driving on a king-sized Quad. Skylar Laine isn't going to get much support for the deer comment. Oh, it's America. Maybe she will then. Hell On Heels was well sung and she gets through without kissing Steven. But she brings on an enormously tall friend who does.

Five years ago, a 16 year old Baylie Brown made Hollywood in season 6 and I remember being disappointed that she didn't make it through further. She returns now and, at last, someone good. Nice job of Bon Jovi's Bed Of Roses and we will definitely be seeing a lot more of her in weeks to come.

Kristine Osorio also gets through with Adele's One And Only but I don't see her going much further. She's OK but nothing memorable.

We then have an extraordinary batch of strange decisions, with Steven and Randy either rejecting or accepting people and Jennifer taking the opposite view in each case. And, in each case, she does seem to be right. You can only feel a bit sorry for the ones who have missed a chance to do well in Hollywood, especially when they see the recordings of who did get through in the previous show.

Ryan looks around for someone who might reunite the judges. He needs a complete prat and finds one called Alejandro. Cue Lady Gaga track. Prat talks about revolution. Total bollocks. Now, if he'd had a go at the Beatles' Revolution it might have been worth showing the clip but those who switched 4 minutes in really haven't missed anything other than Baylie who'll they see soon enough again anyway. Big Bouncer Guy comes and shoos him off the stage. 

Cortez Shaw comes to the rescue of this dire night with a decent version of Adele's Someone Like You. Although that was only thanks to Jennifer holding Randy's arm down when he was trying to stop the guy after a few bars.

Oh dear, back to rubbish with two idiot girls, Julie and Vanessa and Ramiro, who was probably a man but equally dreadful. This is painful stuff.

Ramiro Garcia is up last and you're praying that he's good. Amazing Grace. Not that good on the high notes but he gets put through. That's as far as he'll get and if that's the best they had from the rest to close this round with then they may be well advised to skip Houston next year.